


To Spare You

by Firondoiel



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fuck Or Die, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Senior Padawan Obi-Wan, Worried Qui-Gon, Written for the QuiObi Writing Discord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:40:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firondoiel/pseuds/Firondoiel
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan crash-land on an obscure planet where their hosts are eager to welcome them. When Obi-Wan falls mysteriously ill, Qui-Gon searches for the cause. The solution is something neither of them ever expected, and the Jedi Master must ask himself: just what is he willing to do to save his apprentice’s life?
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 34
Kudos: 243
Collections: QuiObi: A Collection of First-Times





	To Spare You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the QuiObi First Times Challenge on the QuiObi Writing Discord.
> 
> The Prompt: Virgin Sacrifice
> 
> \---------
> 
> So many thanks to LuvEwan for always being encouraging and wonderful, as well as a fantastic beta. <3
> 
> Shout-out to Black Teapot who told me several months ago that she really hoped I wrote this story because she wanted to read it and made me absolutely determined to finish the fic.

“At last.” Qui-Gon breathed a heavy sigh of relief when the door closed behind them. He sank into a chair, grateful to finally be able to rest. It had already been a long day, even before their ship began to leak fuel, forcing them to land on this small planet. Their pilot stayed with the ship, but the local inhabitants had quickly approached them, eager to welcome Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. 

They seemed to be a friendly people. Their appearance was similar to the Chagrians, two long horns on their heads, hued skin that was green in color instead of the Chagrian blue. The leader greeted them first and introduced himself as the High Priest of Zuantu. Fortunately, the Jedi’s Basic translators recognized most of the language, enough to understand that he was very pleased to receive travelers to their humble world and offered them wine as a refreshment. 

A quick probe with the Force showed the drink to be innocuous, so Qui-Gon thanked the priest and accepted. The wine tasted slightly sweet, but delectable.The small group of Zuantuans watched them drink, delighted to see their gift enjoyed. 

The priest introduced his assistant, Emit--a much shorter Zuantuan wearing a white robe that matched with the priest--and had him offer them a wreath of flowers as a token of welcome. Emit stepped forward and handed the small wreath to Obi-Wan, who politely nodded in thanks. The flowers were small and unremarkable, but as they watched, the tiny buds began to grow, opening into large white blossoms with a lovely, delicate scent. 

Qui-Gon smiled in amusement at the enchanting little display. He had seen similar acts performed on other planets, but was a little surprised to see it here on a more primitive world. When he turned back to the priest, Qui-Gon found that all the Zuantuans were staring at Obi-Wan. The priest was beaming. 

He shared a quick glance with his apprentice, but then the priest entreated them to come see their village. They would receive a place to rest while the ship was repaired and refueled. 

Qui-Gon felt a slight misgiving, but he diplomatically agreed, interested in learning about this race and their customs. The priest seemed almost ecstatic to give them a detailed tour, although it mostly consisted of dilapidated village houses and a mostly empty marketplace. 

“The first harvest was not as bountiful as we hoped,” the priest explained. “But we are resilient. A successful second harvest is all we need to set ourselves right.”

He quickly moved on from the marketplace and brought them to a large temple at the center of the village. It may have been a monument of splendor and decadence in the past, but now it was mostly cracked columns and crumbling stairs. The feats of craftsmanship still shone through the temple’s decayed state, but it would be a huge undertaking to restore it. 

The priest ushered them into a small house adjoining the temple. A smaller Zuantuan bustled around the front room, but he paused to bow and greet them. The priest introduced him as their host and proudly said that he would see to their every need during their stay. After much more fussing and welcoming, they were finally shown into a sleeping quarters and bid to rest so they might tour the inside of the temple later.

Finally alone, Qui-Gon leaned back in the chair and took in his surroundings. The spacious room they had been given was surprisingly opulent given the poor conditions of the village: ornately decorated and spotlessly clean. A giant bed piled high with several lavish pillows.

He thought it strange, but turned his attention to his padawan. Obi-Wan slumped in the chair opposite him, looking as though weariness weighed heavily on him, leaving him drained and in need of sleep. 

“Padawan?” Qui-Gon tried to be subtle as he studied Obi-Wan for anything amiss, a hidden injury or beginning illness. Obi-Wan’s worrisome habit of downplaying his health required Qui-Gon to be hypervigilant in order to notice the warning signs.

“I am well, Master,” Obi-Wan assured him. His lips quirked upwards slightly as he realized what Qui-Gon was doing. Then his eyes glazed over, and his brow pinched in heavy concentration.

“Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon’s suspicions grew.

“I’m just tired.” Obi-Wan fell against the back of the chair with a dull thud, looking even more exhausted. 

“It was a long mission.” Qui-Gon remained skeptical and kept his eyes locked on Obi-Wan, “But it seems there is something else that troubles you.”

“I’m not sure, Master,” Obi-Wan sighed. He stared just above Qui-Gon’s head, seemingly deep in thought. “I just have a bad feeling about this. About something going to happen.”

“Stay focused in the present,” Qui-Gon encouraged, “I sense that these people are mostly peaceful.” 

“Of course.” Obi-Wan started to nod, but then winced and pressed a hand to his forehead. 

“Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon reached out through their bond, but was startled to realize that he felt nothing. Not even Obi-Wan’s presence. He hadn’t noticed it disappear, but it was gone.

“I’m fine,” Obi-Wan groaned, scrunching his eyes shut while his fingers dug into his temples. “Just a headache. Probably that less than perfect landing.”

Qui-Gon frowned. He leaned forward and placed his hand on Obi-Wan’s forehead, sending healing waves to ease the obvious discomfort, but he could sense that they weren’t being received. 

Obi-Wan opened his bleary eyes, brow furrowed in pain. “Master?”

Perplexed, Qui-Gon remained silent for a moment. Obi-Wan was there in front of him and had been his normal shining light in the back of his mind until a moment ago. But now he couldn’t even sense a shield, just emptiness. 

“What is it?” Worry crept into Obi-Wan’s voice. 

“Padawan,” Qui-Gon said gently, “Reach out with the Force. Can you sense me?”

Ever the dutiful student, Obi-Wan didn’t question the oddness of the request, he just obeyed. The confusion on his face changed to concern when he also encountered nothing. 

“Master, what’s happening?”

“I don’t know,” Qui-Gon hated saying the words, “It’s possible there could be some kind of Force inhibitor in this village.”

“But Master, I can still feel the Force. I just can’t feel _you_ ,” Obi-Wan tilted his head slightly. “I do sense another presence.”

“What do you sense?” Qui-Gon reached out as well. There were the life forms of the villagers, but nothing that stood out to him. Nothing except the unsettling emptiness where his padawan should be. 

“It’s powerful,” Obi-Wan said, “Dark. I can’t quite tell what it is, but...I think it’s coming.”

“How far away?” Qui-Gon broadened his search. Still nothing.

“I’m not sure. I’m trying to reach for it, but…”

Obi-Wan’s eyes rolled back into his head, and he pitched forwards. Qui-Gon lunged, catching him before he could hit the floor. 

“Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon adjusted his grip, settling his padawan into his lap so he could touch his free hand to Obi-Wan’s face. “Can you hear me?” 

But Obi-Wan’s limp body was unresponsive. A fever heat that had not been present seconds ago now burned on his skin. 

“Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon called again as he fought back a surge of alarm. Obi-Wan’s illness had no apparent cause. When he tried to scan Obi-Wan’s body, Qui-Gon encountered a block that prevented him from detecting anything. He pulled the still form close to his chest. 

Obi-Wan’s head lolled against his shoulder. Qui-Gon swallowed thickly then made himself breathe and release his fears into the Force while drawing in strength and serenity. Once he felt balanced enough, he stood and carried Obi-Wan to the bed. 

Several pillows had to be shoved aside before he could gently lay down his apprentice. He brushed a hand through this hair, then walked to the door--startling their host when he threw it open. 

“Is there a physician nearby?” Qui-Gon asked, not apologizing for his abrupt entrance.

“I...er...yes, yes there is.” Their host’s eyes were still wide with fright.

“Have them brought here immediately. And I require fresh water and clean towels. At once.” Qui-Gon turned back to their room.

“Sir? I don’t think that-”

“Is there a problem?” Qui-Gon’s robe whipped through the air as he sharply turned back, not in the mood for needless delays.

“Oh, no. No problem. Just, is it your friend?” Their host was nervous, but Qui-Gon did not sense anything malicious in his intent. 

“Yes, he has fallen ill and requires medical attention. Have your physician brought here or tell me where I can find them.” Qui-Gon said, irritation seeping into his tone. 

“Does he sleep? Is he warm to the touch?”

Qui-Gon stepped further into the main room, allowing his height to tower over the much shorter Zuantuan. “What do you know?”

“All will be well. You do not need to worry.”

“I did not ask for your comfort. Tell me what is wrong with my padawan.”

“He has been chosen, sir. It is the greatest honor one can be granted.”

Qui-Gon stepped forward again. The host backed up.

“Chosen for what?” Qui-Gon’s voice was quiet, but chilling.

“Chosen b-by Dempab, the Great Deity. It only chooses the most worthy.”

Qui-Gon stalked closer, forcing the host to flatten himself against the wall. 

“Explain this honor to me.”

“Yes. Er, he um...he-well, interesting story-”

“Quickly!” Qui-Gon barked. The host jumped at the sudden harshness.

“S-sorry. Our high priest anoints the most worthy to be gifted to our deity. There are very select qualifications. It’s...it’s very special.”

Qui-Gon remembered the cups they had been offered by the priest upon arrival. One for him, one for Obi-Wan. 

“Your priest has poisoned my apprentice?”

“Poisoned? No! Never. It is a symbol. A symbol to our deity that we have found a worthy gift for it to claim.”

“How does your deity claim this gift?”

“Oh, it calls to the anointed. It joins their energy to its own. It is a blessing to be so worthy.”

Qui-Gon leaned down and brought his face close to the trembling Zuantuan. “Have your priest brought here then. As well as your physician.”

The host nodded frantically, but remained plastered against the wall.

“Go now!” Qui-Gon growled.

With a small cry, the host darted past Qui-Gon and out the front door. 

When Qui-Gon returned to their room, he found Obi-Wan just as he had left him, lying flushed and motionless on the bed. The large mattress with its many pillows and coverings engulfed Obi-Wan’s slender frame. 

Qui-Gon sat on the edge of the bed. He could now see that Obi-Wan was shivering. A quick touch to the forehead proved that the fever was rising rapidly. Again, Qui-Gon sent a pulse of Force healing into Obi-Wan, but it fizzled and vanished, like it had been sent into a void.

\---------

“Your apprentice was not poisoned, Qui-Gon Jinn. He was anointed.”

“Then undo your anointing.”

“I cannot.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Once the anointed has been accepted by Dempab, there is no reversing it. Be glad for your apprentice’s happy fate.”

Qui-Gon’s jaw tightened, and his gaze darkened. They had been at this for several minutes now, but the priest stared back firm and unflinching. He lightly pushed against the other being’s mind and cursed when he found it to be strong. Force suggestion would be of no use. The priest stood with his shoulders straight and his chest open, unafraid and stalwart in his conviction. 

“Your holiness.” Qui-Gon breathed deeply, the sensation of his lungs filling and then deflating calmed him. Slightly. “Perhaps you would be willing to tell me what makes my padawan so worthy of this honor.”

He must have successfully hidden his contempt because the priest looked pleased. “Of course, Master Qui-Gon Jinn!” His eyes lit with excitement, “I am happy to indulge your interest in our culture.”

“Then please, indulge me.” Qui-Gon could usually be a very patient man, but Obi-Wan had not stirred once. 

“Yes, Dempab watches over us. Moves within the energy of our land and our people. It is only right that we return a small part of that energy to it.”

“Indeed.” 

“Our offering is meager, therefore only the truly exceptional can be chosen. Those with great intelligence, beauty, and skill. Strong, but gentle of heart. But most importantly, they are pure both in spirit and body. And-”

“A moment.” Qui-Gon held up a hand to silence the priest. “Explain pure in spirit and body.”

“Oh, well. Those with pure spirits have a brightness to their energy. They shine like the loveliest stars in the night sky.”

This Qui-Gon understood. He knew well how vividly Obi-Wan’s light sparked in the Force. Any other time he would be fascinated that the priest could sense it as well--he hadn’t detected any Force sensitive beings among the village’s inhabitants--but at the moment, he only cared about one thing.

“And what of pureness in body?” 

“It is as it sounds,” the priest shrugged.

“Explain it to me anyway.” Qui-Gon let his annoyance bite into every word.

“Well, only those who are untouched.” The priest watched Qui-Gon closely, waiting for him to comprehend his meaning. “Those who have never been tainted by the sexual touch of another.”

Qui-Gon only stared. 

“He means virgins,” Emit piped up helpfully.

Qui-Gon spared a cold glance to Emit, who immediately cowered, then turned his glare back to the priest. “You will reverse this anointing immediately. My padawan does not qualify.”

The priest’s face hardened. “I assure you that he does.”

His resolve made Qui-Gon pause. Obi-Wan was both skilled and intelligent, strong physically and mentally, and he certainly possessed a gentleness in his heart. Great beauty? Yes, anyone with eyes could see that Obi-Wan was a beautiful man. A virgin?

Qui-Gon searched through his memories. He couldn’t remember ever discussing sexual matters with his apprentice. The courses at the Temple were thorough enough, and Obi-Wan had never come to him with questions...

...and he had never mentioned any partners. 

Surely there had to have been someone. He knew Obi-Wan pleasured himself in the shower when he was younger, before he had perfected his shielding technique. Obi-Wan was also very talented at flirtation. He had seduced necessary information for missions many times with just a smile and a sparkle in his eyes. How could he have not had his choice of lovers?

“What makes you believe my apprentice is a virgin?” Qui-Gon challenged.

“He passed the test. The white flowers of Dempab only open in the hands of those who are pure.”

“This is absurd.” Qui-Gon’s patience was depleted. “My padawan is not going to lose his life to this.”

“Lose his life?” The priest looked shocked. “His life will be sacrificed from his bodily form, yes. But he will join our deity in the-”

“My padawan is not going to be your sacrifice. He did not volunteer for this.”

“He is honored by-”

“He refuses your honor.”

“It cannot be undone once Dempab has accepted the offering.”

“My padawan is not a virgin. You need to reverse this before your Great Deity finds out.”

“But the flower-”

“The flower was wrong.”

“Master?”

The hushed call grabbed Qui-Gon’s attention amid the shouting. He spun around to see exhausted grey-blue eyes blinking at him.

“Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon was instantly at the bedside, feeling Obi-Wan’s forehead and stroking his hair, relieved to see him awake. “How do you feel?”

“It’s calling to me,” Obi-Wan said hollowly. 

“What’s calling to you?” Relief quickly turned back to concern.

“The darkness I told you about.” Obi-Wan looked past Qui-Gon, staring at something far away. “It’s almost here.”

“You see?” The priest was infuriatingly delighted. “Dempab comes for him!”

“It will not take him,” Qui-Gon promised quietly. “I will not let him be taken.”

“You cannot stop it. He is the perfect sacrifice.”

“I told you, my padawan is not a virgin. So you can-”

“Master?” Obi-Wan pulled at Qui-Gon’s arm.

“What is it, Padawan?” Qui-Gon’s voice was calm and soothing again. “Does your head still pain you?”

“It’s not that, Master.” Obi-Wan swallowed hard. “Master, he’s right.” 

The priest burst into loud elation, but Qui-Gon just looked at Obi-Wan, a strange feeling in his stomach. Not that he cared about Obi-Wan’s sexualilty or preferences, but this was his one playing card. The one thing he had to counter the priest. 

“Such a blessing,” the priest sighed happily, “A beautiful man of his age keeping himself pure. Surely, you must see he was intended for this?” 

Qui-Gon slowly rose from the bed. When he turned around, the broad smile on the priest’s face withered in the wake of Qui-Gon’s cold rage. “Get out.”

“I would be here for the moment of sacrifice,” The priest protested.

“You will get out or I will remove you.” Qui-Gon didn’t move, but the priest flinched slightly before gathering himself.

“You will send for me at the proper moment then.” The priest swept out of the room with a forced bravado. Emit tried to follow after him, but the door slammed shut, leaving him trapped inside the room.

The smaller being jumped and looked up at Qui-Gon, who was leaning one hand against the closed door. 

“Sir?” Emit squeaked timidly.

“You are going to stay and answer some more of my questions,”

“Alright,” Emit said quickly, obviously not wanting to incur Qui-Gon’s wrath. 

“My apprentice is not of your world. He did not willingly choose this.”

“Well, no-”

“How do I stop it?”

“You don’t. He has been marked. There is no unmarking a sacrifice. And Dempab has already accepted him.”

“There _is_ a way to stop it.”

“Well…”

“What is it?"

“If...if he…”

Emit yelped when Qui-Gon snatched him by his robes and lifted him high in the air so they could be face to face.

“If he _what_?”

“If he were to no longer be a virgin before Dempab could claim him completely, it would likely stop the process,” Emit said hurriedly. 

Qui-Gon dropped him. Emit lost his balance at the sudden landing and toppled onto his behind. He peered up at Qui-Gon nervously, occasionally glancing at Obi-Wan on the bed. There was something like pity in his eyes when he took in the suffering that wracked Obi-Wan’s body.

“Is that truly the only way?” Qui-Gon asked. 

“It is the only thing that might work. And it must be done before the bond can fully form.”

“Bond?” 

Qui-Gon moved to the shivering form on the bed. The fever had worsened. He placed a hand on Obi-Wan’s chest over his heart--the pulse raced quickly and erratically. For the first time, a cold tendril of fear coiled inside Qui-Gon.

“Master?” Obi-Wan didn’t open his eyes, but he latched onto Qui-Gon’s hand.

“I’m here, Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon laid his other hand on top of Obi-Wan’s, blanketing it between his own. “This ‘deity’ is forming a bond with you. It is somehow keeping me out, but can you sense it?”

Obi-Wan didn’t respond for a long time. Qui-Gon wanted to speak again, but he could see his padawan concentrating. He just wished he could aid him. 

Then Obi-Wan gasped and tightened his grip on Qui-Gon’s hands. His eyes moved rapidly beneath his closed eyelids.

“Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon felt the fever spike again as he grabbed Obi-Wan’s shoulders to hold him still when his body started to spasm. A crushing helplessness rushed through Qui-Gon.

But it was over in seconds. Obi-Wan suddenly went limp. His face slackened, and his breathing became shallow. It unsettled Qui-Gon more than the violent convulsions.

“He shouldn’t try to fight it,” came the quiet voice from Emit, huddled forgotten in the corner.

Qui-Gon ignored him and pressed his fingers to Obi-Wan’s throat. The pulse wasn’t as strong as he would like, but it was steady. One small mercy. 

“Master.” Obi-Wan’s eyes flew open, clear and lucid. “I’ve blocked it. I don’t know how long it will hold. But it’s not in my head anymore.” 

“Well done, my padawan.” Qui-Gon touched Obi-Wan’s cheek. The skin was cooling. “You’ve done well.”

The door creaked. 

“You.” Qui-Gon’s sharp voice halted Emit in his tracks. “Are there any pleasure houses in this village?”

“There is one on the very edge of the village. But...they will not help you. They won’t interfere with the Great Deity. Nor would they dream of taking away this...this honor from anyone. Also,” A tiny note of sympathy appeared in Emit’s tone, “You would never make it there and back before his spirit joins with Dempab.” 

Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan’s paling face. The raging fever had rushed out of his body too quickly. Even if Qui-Gon couldn’t tell through the Force that Emit was not deceiving him, he could see the truth in front of him as Obi-Wan weakened.

“Get out,” he said without moving his eyes from Obi-Wan. 

The door opened and shut hastily, leaving the Jedi alone with each other. Obi-Wan turned his cheek into Qui-Gon’s hand and took several long breaths, practicing a calming technique they taught initiates. He closed his eyes again. His lashes looked unusually dark where they curled against his skin. 

“Padawan.” Heaviness settled in Qui-Gon’s chest. “How much of that did you hear?” 

“Enough. Guess I should have been a little busier in my youth.” 

“I do not wish to watch you lose yourself to this.”

“And I do not wish to lose myself in this way.”

“Do you understand what I must do?”

“Yes.” Obi-Wan nodded.

“I do not know your reasons for remaining celibate, but I am sorry that this is how you will experience your first time,”

“I was...waiting for the right person.”

Qui-Gon’s shoulders sagged as guilt weighed down on him .“Again, I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Obi-Wan squeezed his hand. “It’s alright.”

“I will be as careful as possible, but I do not think we can wait.”

“I agree,” Obi-Wan sounded resigned, but his eyes looked unsure when he opened them, “Master, I am also sorry.”

“Whatever for, Obi-Wan?”

“I know this is not your choice. If you do not wish-”

“Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon laid a finger over Obi-Wan’s lips to quiet him “This _is_ my choice. You are my padawan. We lead uncertain and often dangerous lives, but if I am ever granted the option to spare you, I will choose it every time.” 

Obi-Wan sucked in a breath, his lips parting under the pads of Qui-Gon’s fingertips, and something flickered inside Qui-Gon’s stomach. He tilted his head and slid his fingers to Obi-Wan’s cheek, so his thumb could brush over Obi-Wan’s bottom lip, then down into the cleft of his chin. It had never occurred to him before but, in this situation, it seemed only natural to notice the soft sweetness of Obi-Wan’s mouth. 

After a moment, Qui-Gon leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Obi-Wan’s forehead. He wished he could access their bond so he could sense Obi-Wan’s nervousness or fear or anything else he might be feeling. 

“Trust me,” He whispered against Obi-Wan’s skin.

“I do,” Obi-Wan answered immediately. 

Qui-Gon briefly closed his eyes and kissed Obi-Wan’s forehead one more time before pulling back to look into Obi-Wan’s face. His padawan’s gaze was bright, his pupils slightly enlarged. Qui-Gon kissed the bridge of his nose between those singular eyes and then kissed his cheek, wanting to accustom Obi-Wan to being touched in this way. 

When he sat back, Qui-Gon saw Obi-Wan’s pink tongue dart out to wet his still-parted lips as he took a shaky breath. He was obviously affected by the attention, but Qui-Gon again cursed the block on their bond. 

Obi-Wan was silent as Qui-Gon gently squeezed his shoulder before trailing his hand down Obi-Wan’s arm. He paused at Obi-Wan’s hip and started to rub small circles there. It brought another gasp from Obi-Wan, and he shifted against the bed.

“It’s alright.” Qui-Gon ran his other hand through Obi-Wan’s soft auburn hair and tugged lightly at his braid. 

Obi-Wan swallowed hard and nodded. 

“How would you like for this to go, Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon asked, unsure of how to proceed. He faced the dilemma of either trying to make Obi-Wan’s first time pleasurable or making it end as quickly as possible. He was at a loss. 

“I…” Obi-Wan searched for what to say. “I don’t know. Whatever is easiest for you, Master. I do trust you.”

Qui-Gon’s heart clenched at the admission; Obi-Wan deserved to feel pleasure from his first time. But he only nodded and brought his hand down to Obi-Wan’s other hip, rubbing them both. His thumbs found the cut of Obi-Wan’s hipbones and traced over them. 

Obi-Wan jumped and hissed. Force, the boy was sensitive. So responsive that Qui-Gon could feel a response of his own stirring. He knew he needed this reaction in order to accomplish this task, but he still waited to feel the bitterness of shame.

It never came. 

Qui-Gon patted Obi-Wan’s lower belly, holding him still for a moment. “Is it alright if I remove your pants?”

“Guess you’ll have to.” There was a small waver in Obi-Wan’s voice even as he grinned mischievously. “Unless I greatly misunderstood my sexual reproduction classes.” 

Qui-Gon chuckled before pressing again. “I am sure you were just as diligent a student in that as you were in your other courses, but I will do nothing without your permission.” 

Obi-Wan’s smile dimmed, but he nodded. “You can remove them. It’s alright.”

Qui-Gon pushed up Obi-Wan’s tunics enough to expose the ties to his pants. He undid them slowly to allow Obi-Wan time to ease into the idea of what was about to happen. Once the knots were undone, Qui-Gon grazed his fingers over the small strip of skin that was visible between Obi-Wan’s tunic and pants. 

He hummed when Obi-Wan shuddered at the touch, then hooked his fingers in the top of Obi-Wan’s pants and gently pulled them down his legs. He paused to take off Obi-Wan’s boots so he could remove the pants completely, leaving Obi-Wan in his small clothes and rucked up tunic. 

Obi-Wan looked faintly flushed--the first sign of color since the fever. Qui-Gon laid the back of his hand against Obi-Wan’s forehead and sighed in relief when the skin was still cool. 

Then he glanced lower and saw the bulge in Obi-Wan’s small clothes. 

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan mumbled and avoided meeting Qui-Gon’s gaze. 

“Obi-Wan, no.” Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan’s face in his hands. “This is a natural response. This is what we are trying to achieve.”

“But so quickly?” Obi-Wan’s blush deepened. 

“Sometimes.” Qui-Gon found himself running his fingers along Obi-Wan’s lips again. ”You are unused to these sensations, but it makes you so wonderfully responsive to even the lightest of touches. Any lover would be entranced by you.”

Qui-Gon blanched. He wasn’t sure where those words had come from, but he could not take them back now. 

“Oh.” Obi-Wan also looked surprised. He squirmed a little, embarrassed, but the movement made his erection nudge against Qui-Gon’s hip. 

“ _Oh,_ ” Obi-Wan repeated and pulled away.

“It’s alright.” Qui-Gon hurried to soothe him. He placed his hands on Obi-Wan’s thighs to stop him from recoiling too far, lightly kneading the flesh there.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan choked out, mortified. 

“Don’t be.” Qui-Gon struggled to comprehend that Obi-Wan was truly _this_ untouched. He had to approach him like he would a frightened animal. “Did it feel good, Obi-Wan? You can be honest with me.”

Obi-Wan hesitated, only for a few seconds, but Qui-Gon was starting to feel anxious about taking too much time. There was so much he did not know about this thing trying to steal Obi-Wan away from him.

“It did,” Obi-Wan said finally. 

“Good, that’s very good, Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon squeezed his thighs. “Is it alright if we do it again?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened.

“Padawan, I wish we could take this slowly. I do.” Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan’s hand, hoping to ground him. “But you know we do not have the luxury of time on our side. Will you allow me to try something?”

“You’re right, Master.” Obi-Wan’s jitters eased and familiar determination took their place. “Yes, you can do what you think best.”

“Thank you. Tell me at any time if you are uncomfortable. Understand?”

He waited for Obi-Wan’s nod before taking a hold of his hips and guiding Obi-Wan’s groin to brush against his thigh again. Qui-Gon heard a suppressed moan, but he kept his gaze lowered, trying to allow Obi-Wan some sort of privacy. He ground his leg against Obi-Wan’s hardening cock, slowly but firmly. When the muffled noises burst into a gasping whimper, Qui-Gon looked up. Obi-Wan’s eyes were shut tight, his mouth open, and his hands fisted in the sheets. He was trembling. Heat surged inside of Qui-Gon when he realized they were tremors of arousal. 

“Alright?” Qui-Gon hoped the huskiness in his voice was more subtle than it seemed. 

Obi-Wan nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry.” 

“Padawan.” Now shame belatedly clawed into Qui-Gon. “It pains me to cause you this much distress. I am the one who should be sorry for this. Not you. Never you.”

“No.” Obi-Wan sounded close to tears. “You don’t understand. It’s not you. It’s...oh gods.”

“It’s alright, Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon stilled their motions, but kept his thigh solidly against Obi-Wan’s cock and lowered his body to blanket Obi-Wan’s smaller form. “It’s alright,” he repeated as he wiped away a single tear making its way down Obi-Wan’s face. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” 

Obi-Wan was still shaking, but his hands released the sheets to grab at Qui-Gon’s clothing instead, pulling him close and breathing him in. The deep inhales seemed to steady him. When his eyes finally opened, they shimmered with unshed tears and guilt. “Master, I need to tell you something.”

He paused, but Qui-Gon waited, patiently thumbing over his cheek. After a moment, Obi-Wan tried to speak again, but his body suddenly seized and a cry of agony left his mouth.

“Padawan?” Qui-Gon placed a hand on Obi-Wan’s forehead and tried to keep him still with his own body, cursing when his Force probes still came back empty. “What is it?”

“It’s getting closer,” Obi-Wan said with effort. “I won’t be able to keep it out forever.”

“Can you push it back?”

“I’m trying.” Obi-Wan’s heart was pounding where their chests touched.

Qui-Gon scrambled through ideas, searching for something--anything--that he could do. He noticed that Obi-Wan was still erect against him. It had faded slightly, but was still there. Going off of a desperate hope, Qui-Gon rocked his thigh against him.

A gasp. Obi-Wan bucked beneath him.

It was enough to prompt Qui-Gon to gently grope him through his small clothes.

“ _Ah._ ” Obi-Wan’s eyes fluttered open. His body started to relax from the pain and ease into the pleasure now coursing through him.

“Does this help?” Qui-Gon asked. 

“Yes.” Obi-Wan bit his lip and hesitantly shifted, wanting more, but not knowing how to ask for it. 

“Then don’t hold back. Can you do that for me, Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon fondled him, firming his grasp. 

“ _Gods._ ” Obi-Wan jerked against him, reflexively rolling his hips.

“That’s good. Just like that.” Qui-Gon squeezed his cock to encourage him, “Let me know when you are comfortable with me removing your smallclothes.” 

“Oh, um…” Obi-Wan didn’t stop grinding into Qui-Gon’s hand, but took a moment to respond. “You can remove them. Master...I think we need to hurry.”

Another bout of worry raced through Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan’s eyes were clear, but he could see the tension in Obi-Wan’s face. The boy was fighting hard against this thing that threatened to consume him.

_You can’t have him._

Qui-Gon growled the warning into the Force, hoping that this ‘Great Deity’ could hear it. But he was gentle when he patted Obi-Wan’s shoulder and slipped his smallclothes down his legs, baring the lower half of his body. 

Obi-Wan’s cock rested against one smooth thigh, half-hard and glistening with precome at the tip. When Qui-Gon dropped the smallclothes to join Obi-Wan’s pants on the floor, he looked back to see Obi-Wan watching him carefully. Those lean legs instinctively parted a little under Qui-Gon’s gaze. 

The small movement had Qui-Gon’s pants feeling a little tight. 

“I’ll be right back.” Qui-Gon rubbed over Obi-Wan’s thigh, absently noting how the skin was so soft there. 

He rose from the bed to retrieve one of the anointing oils the priest had left behind. They may be pressed for time, but Qui-Gon would still make sure Obi-Wan was prepared for him. Perhaps penetration with fingers would be enough to disqualify Obi-Wan from this deity’s tastes. 

The glass bottle warmed beneath his hand as he gripped it, realizing that it was a matter of seconds until he would have a finger inside Obi-Wan’s virgin hole. He didn’t even know if Obi-Wan had ever experimented there himself or if he was completely untouched. 

When Qui-Gon returned to the bed, he knelt between Obi-Wan’s legs, forcing them to spread wider to accommodate his body. He stroked Obi-Wan’s thigh again. 

Obi-Wan nervously eyed the bottle of oil, but he calmed beneath Qui-Gon’s hand. Qui-Gon smiled a little sadly, feeling undeserving of that much trust from his padawan in this situation. 

“Have you ever touched yourself, Obi-Wan?” he asked as his strokes turned into caresses. 

Redness flushed across the top of Obi-Wan’s chest. “I do...I have touched my...” he trailed off helplessly. 

“We live in close quarters. I am aware that you masturbate, Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon’s hand moved higher to Obi-Wan’s hip, dipping under his tunics just a little. “That’s not what I was asking.”

Obi-Wan blinked, confused.

Qui-Gon repressed a sigh, knowing he would have to be blunt. “Have you ever fingered yourself?” 

If his hand hadn’t been on Obi-Wan’s body, Qui-Gon would have missed the small flinch. Inwardly, he winced himself at his coarseness, but he needed to know.

“I have not,” Obi-Wan said quietly, his face on fire. 

“Alright,” Qui-Gon nodded, “Forgive me, but I need to ask. Have you experienced penetration of any kind?” 

“No, Master.”

The mumbled answer caused heat to flare deeply in Qui-Gon’s belly. He would truly be Obi-Wan’s first, and the thought pleased him, greatly, but he shoved it aside. Something to meditate on later.

“Thank you for telling me, Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon rubbed over Obi-Wan’s lower abdomen. “I will be as gentle as I can in preparing you.”

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan moved against him, unconsciously trying to direct Qui-Gon’s hand lower. 

Instead, Qui-Gon removed his hand entirely. He brought the bottle to his mouth, pulled out the cork with his teeth, and spat it to the side.The oil smelled sweet as it poured over his fingers. 

He leaned forward. Obi-Wan’s legs opened further, splaying out beautifully over the bedsheets. Qui-Gon could feel him shuddering when he put his hand back on the center of Obi-Wan’s stomach under his tunics.

“Are you ready?” Qui-Gon looked into his eyes, hoping Obi-Wan would respond affirmatively. Hating that he had to rush him like this.

“I am ready, Master,” Obi-Wan answered calmly, like he was agreeing to the start of a sparring session, but there was a breathlessness to his voice.

Qui-Gon nodded. He slipped his hand between Obi-Wan’s legs and rubbed his fingers over the small, untouched opening. Obi-Wan gasped at the contact, but quickly stifled it, clamping his lips shut. The only reassurance Qui-Gon could offer was a few pats to his belly. He continued to stroke his fingers along the quivering hole, spreading oil over it and trying to make it relax before he had to split it open. 

Obi-Wan’s sensitivity was astonishing. He jumped at the lightest of touches. The thought surfaced in Qui-Gon’s mind that he would enjoy seeing what noises Obi-Wan would make from having his delicate rim teased, but he quickly shook off the strong impulse to lean in and swipe his tongue over it. He added it to the list of things that would require meditation when this was over.

Once he decided there was a sufficient amount of oil coating Obi-Wan’s entrance, Qui-Gon applied more of it to his fingers and took a deliberate breath before gently pressing a single finger inside Obi-Wan’s hole. Obi-Wan made a strangled noise, and Qui-Gon looked up to see his padawan watching him frantically.

“I know it feels strange,” Qui-Gon reassured, “But you must try to relax your muscles. Can you do that?”

Obi-Wan nodded, but then shook his head after a few seconds. “I lack the focus, Master,” his voice was full of self-deprecation, “It is...a struggle to keep the shield in place.”

“That’s alright.” Qui-Gon petted Obi-Wan’s stomach. “You are doing well.”

Obi-Wan shot him a dubious look, but he tensed up again when Qui-Gon wiggled his fingertip, trying to open him further before pushing more of his finger inside. 

“Just put it in,” Obi-Wan said suddenly. 

“What?”

“There’s no time. Just-just do what you must. I can heal.”

He was right. Qui-Gon closed his eyes and silently asked forgiveness as he forced his finger the rest of the way in.

Obi-Wan was shaking, but he refused to make a sound. Qui-Gon wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to waste energy on masking his discomfort, but he could not strip Obi-Wan of this one dignity. 

There was barely any give as Qui-Gon circled his finger, massaging the muscles. _Force._ / He was so _tight_. Qui-Gon wanted to plead with Obi-Wan to relax, but couldn’t risk stressing him further. The only thing he could do was move things along as quickly as possible.

He pulled partway out and plunged back in, making the virginal hole open for him. He fucked his finger in and out a few times before pouring more oil over his hand. 

The moment Obi-Wan felt a second finger, his entire body stiffened.

“Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon murmured. There was nothing he could do about the awkwardness of the situation, but he summoned his earlier resolve to make this pleasurable for his innocent padawan. 

He leaned down and kissed Obi-Wan’s forehead. When he pulled away, he glanced at that soft, pink mouth.

“Master?”

“This does not have to be painful.” Qui-Gon continued gently thrusting with a single finger, “Can you continue trusting me?” 

“I always do.”

Qui-Gon felt a warmth in his chest when he saw the honesty in the grey-blue eyes. He lowered his lips to Obi-Wan’s forehead again. Then kissed Obi-Wan’s temple, and then his cheekbone. He felt Obi-Wan shift and started to pull away, but Obi-Wan only tilted his head, exposing the side of his throat. 

It was suddenly hard to breathe. Qui-Gon slowly leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to the tender skin. He heard Obi-Wan gasp, and his hole tightened around Qui-Gon’s finger.

“Is this alright?” he asked against Obi-Wan’s throat.

“Yes.” Obi-Wan sounded small and his body remained tense--so tense that there was still no way to work in another finger easily. 

But Obi-Wan’s cock hardened against Qui-Gon--almost fully erect. Qui-Gon sat up straight, and took his weight off his left hand so he could grip Obi-Wan’s erection. 

Obi-Wan jolted and bit off a choked cry. His cock twitched in Qui-Gon’s hand. More precome dribbled down from the slit to Qui-Gon’s fingers. 

“Still alright?”

Obi-Wan nodded, and his hips jerked, like he wanted to rock into Qui-Gon’s hand.

Encouraged, Qui-Gon passed his fingers over the head of Obi-Wan’s cock, gathering slick. Then he began to stroke it--firmly. 

Obi-Wan’s mouth fell open. This time he did buck his hips up to meet Qui-Gon--his inexperienced body surrendering to the sensations despite his embarrassment. 

Qui-Gon moved his hand quickly over Obi-Wan’s cock, intending to bring him to a fast climax. Obi-Wan shut his eyes and moaned. 

“That’s it,” Qui-Gon murmured. “Let it happen.”

He crooked his finger, looking for that spot.

Obi-Wan yelped and squirmed against him. 

“There you are.” He had found it. Qui-Gon didn’t think it would take much longer. He crooked his finger again. 

Another cry. Obi-Wan’s hands flew up to grab at the pillow under his head, crushing it with his grip. His cries grew more frantic each time Qui-Gon curled his finger. 

“Come on, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon urged, “Let go for me.” 

Obi-Wan’s lust-blown eyes flew open to look at Qui-Gon. There was shock and arousal--and something else shining in his gaze. Before Qui-Gon could wonder about it, Obi-Wan jackknifed against the bed and spilled into Qui-Gon’s hand. 

He moaned so sweetly that Qui-Gon felt his own cock grow harder, but he ignored it so he could slip a second finger into Obi-Wan’s hole as the muscles relaxed in between spasms. 

Qui-Gon scissored his fingers inside, trying to loosen that tightness further. Obi-Wan only moaned again and turned his head to the side, still riding the high of his orgasm. After applying more oil, Qui-Gon pressed in a third finger while Obi-Wan still trembled. His padawan made a small sound in his throat, but rolled his hips against Qui-Gon’s hand--his pleasure drunk body seeking more.

Relief washed over Qui-Gon. He might actually be able to help Obi-Wan enjoy this. Obi-Wan’s undulating hips were a hypnotic sight, and Qui-Gon suddenly wanted to grind his own cock against the bedding, but he refrained. He kept working on easing open Obi-Wan’s snug little hole. 

The pleasure seemed to fight back the encroaching darkness. Obi-Wan’s face was free of pain as the last waves of his climax faded. He groaned noisily as awareness drifted back to him, and his body sank into the mattress, boneless and sated. 

“Alright?” Qui-Gon questioned. 

“Mmm,” Obi-Wan grunted. A blissful smile crossed his face. 

“Good,” Qui-Gon allowed himself a small grin at the sight of Obi-Wan’s euphoria. Then he took advantage of his relaxed state and thrust his fingers in _hard_.

“ _Ahh_ ,” Obi-Wan’s eyes flew open, and his hand fisted in the sheets. His softening cock twitched with renewed interest. 

“You’re almost ready.” Qui-Gon quickly moved his hand back and forth. Obi-Wan had loosened considerably, but Qui-Gon was not a small man. He had more work to do before he could even attempt to enter Obi-Wan. 

The room fell silent except for the squelch of oil and Obi-Wan’s small choked noises. Qui-Gon closely watched him for any signs of distress, but Obi-Wan turned away again, avoiding eye contact.

If they had more time, Qui-Gon knew he would have slowly worked Obi-Wan to this point. First, he would have kissed him and enjoyed those plush lips against his own.The other man would open up to him so sweetly, probably gasp into his mouth. Then Qui-Gon would have continued kissing him as he gradually stripped Obi-Wan of his clothing, worshipping every bit of newly revealed skin. He would have Obi-Wan flushed and ready to come before he ever touched his hole. 

“I think I’m ready now,” Obi-Wan said quietly, still looking away.

Qui-Gon blinked. He flexed his fingers. “A little more time would-”

“No,” Obi-Wan cut him off. “Please, Master.”

“Very well.” Qui-Gon pulled his fingers out and wiped them on the blanket, uncaring if it stained. He briefly rubbed Obi-Wan’s thigh with his other hand. The intent was to comfort, but Qui-Gon swallowed uneasily when he felt the supple, creamy skin. Explicit and sinful images came unbidden to his mind. Images of those thighs on either side of his head while he showed Obi-Wan all the ways to prepare his small hole. All the things he suddenly wanted to do the body spread before him. 

He forced himself to squeeze Obi-Wan’s leg and release it as he sat back to open his pants--refusing to notice how his cock now throbbed with want or that the inside of his smallclothes was embarrassingly wet. 

“I am sorry, Master.”

“For what, Obi-Wan? You know the situation is not your fault.”

“I am still sorry.” Obi-Wan finally looked at him, “This cannot be easy for you.”

Qui-Gon set his jaw as he carefully pondered his response. He could hear the insecurity behind the words, but he did not find it likely that Obi-Wan would be reassured to know that his master was very turned on at the thought of taking him. The meditation session after this would be a long one.

“Padawan, you are a beautiful man with an even more beautiful heart,” Qui-Gon paused. “Anyone fortunate enough to share your bed would not find arousal a hardship.”

Surprised flashed across Obi-Wan’s face before he could mask it. He opened his mouth to speak, but promptly closed it and faintly smiled instead. 

Qui-Gon slid his pants down to his knees. He used the rest of the oil to slick his cock, generously covering it so that excess oil dripped onto the sheets. 

“ _Oh_.”

Qui-Gon’s head snapped up at the startled gasp. Obi-Wan stared at him with huge eyes. “Apparently you do,” Obi-Wan said after a forceful gulp.

“I what?”

“Find it quite hard.”

Obi-Wan pointedly glanced down at the large, stiff cock standing proudly beneath Qui-Gon’s tunics. A snort burst from Qui-Gon as Obi-Wan gave a small smirk, always proud of his cheeky wit. Qui-Gon was pleased to see Obi-Wan joke, but nervousness still exuded from him.

“Are you alright?” Qui-Gon asked.

“...yes.”

“Obi-Wan?”

“I just..” his eyes darted from Qui-Gon’s cock to his own. “ _How_?”

“How what?” Qui-Gon suspected he knew the issue, but he didn’t want to guess wrong.

“How will it work?” Obi-Wan’s voice was pitched slightly higher than normal. “I didn’t know that you could even...how?!”

Qui-Gon slid his hands up Obi-Wan’s legs, refraining from stopping at the silky thighs. This time he continued to Obi-Wan’s hips. It seemed to have a calming effect when Qui-Gon rubbed them gently, and he did not want Obi-Wan to tense up again. 

“It will work,” he said confidently, hiding his amusement and arousal at Obi-Wan’s bewilderment.

“Alright.” Obi-Wan pressed his lips together. His trepidation faded back into a resigned determination, but Qui-Gon knew him too well, even without the aid of their bond. He knew that Obi-Wan was scared as well as hiding something else from him. They would need to discuss that. Later.

He caressed the curve of Obi-Wan’s cheekbone, cupping his face until he nodded once to signal that he was ready. Qui-Gon placed his cock against Obi-Wan’s hole, but did not push inside just yet. Instead he gently kissed Obi-Wan’s throat, lingering over the pulse point. Obi-Wan’s heart was beating rapidly. Qui-Gon mouthed at the skin there until he heard a harsh inhale and felt hips stutter against him. The tip of his cock slipped into Obi-Wan. 

Qui-Gon bit down lightly on Obi-Wan’s throat to muffle a gasp of his own when that snug heat suddenly enveloped his cock head. So _tight_. He worried that he hadn’t prepared Obi-Wan enough. 

When he removed his teeth from Obi-Wan’s skin, a dark bruise had already formed on his throat. He carefully nuzzled it as an apology, but satisfaction swelled inside him. Obi-Wan’s graceful neck was meant to be marked.

The sheets rustled beneath him. Qui-Gon lifted his head. Obi-Wan’s fingers tightly curled in the sheets, his knuckles turning white as he pulled the sheets taut.

“You can touch me, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said, “It’s alright.”

“I can’t.” Obi-Wan shook his head. “Please keep going.”

“Alright.” Brow furrowed with concern and self-loathing, Qui-Gon worked another inch into Obi-Wan’s hole before stopping, letting the other man take time to adjust. He dropped one more comforting kiss on Obi-Wan’s neck then put his face close to Obi-Wan’s ear, murmuring things that he hoped were encouraging.

He continued that way; steadily sliding in a little more, then pausing to praise Obi-Wan for how well he was doing. Obi-Wan never answered, but he shivered when Qui-Gon's breath touched his ear. Qui-Gon wondered if the darkness was strengthening again, but didn't ask. He chose to focus on the task at hand until he slid fully inside. His balls nudged against the curve of Obi-Wan’s ass as that glorious heat surrounded his entire cock. 

But Qui-Gon had no chance to take in the sensation. The block between them vanished, and he found himself lost in a swirling rage of emotions: desire, fear, pleasure.

And affection.

Very strong affection. He saw glimpses of himself through Obi-Wan’s eyes. Late nights pouring over datapads with a cup of tea beside him. His large hand with dirt-stained fingers reaching for Obi-Wan's wrist to examine a burn mark--a quiver of strange excitement over how his palm eclipsed Obi-Wan's.

Memories of them sparring. A burst of desire when Qui-Gon pinned Obi-Wan to the floor. Another surge of longing when Qui-Gon reached out a hand to pull Obi-Wan to his feet. Qui-Gon saw himself smiling and proudly saying, _“Well done. You almost had me.”_

He was in a lake bathing on a recent mission. Naked. The waves lapped around his hips as he stood, just exposing the start of dark hair curled low on his pelvis. Lust-- _Obi-Wan's lust_ \--swept through him.

“Oh gods, no.”

The images were ripped away and hidden behind a wall. Qui-Gon hurriedly strengthened his own shields, but he still sensed shame. Heavy, unrelenting shame. 

Obi-Wan stared up at him, mortified. Even as his hole clenched around Qui-Gon's cock.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said breathlessly, at a loss for words. He was trying (and failing) to not be affected by the perfect snugness gripping him.

It felt like everything he knew was upended. But it all suddenly made sense. 

“Obi-Wan," he repeated, grunting when Obi-Wan reflexively squeezed down on his cock again. "Is it gone? The energy you felt?"

Another squeeze, drawing gasps from them both.

Obi-Wan blinked up at him with both dread and the strain of being filled lining his face. His lips worked as he tried to find his voice. A question formed on his lips, but he simply nodded instead. 

"It's gone."

The relentless fear in Qui-Gon released, and he let out a relieved breath.

He realized Obi-Wan had reached for him when their bond reconnected. His hands still dug into Qui-Gon's forearms. Obi-Wan noticed it too. They stayed like that a moment. Qui-Gon buried deeply inside Obi-Wan's small hole while Obi-Wan's cock pressed against his belly, still hard.

Obi-Wan slowly began to let go.

Qui-Gon lowered his shields.

The feelings he had been wrestling with were laid bare for Obi-Wan. His fondness for Obi-Wan's humor. His admiration of Obi-Wan's unwavering strength and kindness. The joy and contentment he felt during the quiet moments with Obi-Wan. How he was drawn to the beauty of Obi-Wan's light in the Force.

And how he now struggled with his realized desire for more than Obi-Wan's spirit and companionship. 

Obi-Wan left his hands on Qui-Gon’s arms, but relaxed his grip, just resting the palms over the swell of Qui-Gon’s biceps. No emotion showed on his face as he stared up at Qui-Gon, and his shields remained intact. Even the shame from a moment ago had faded. 

Uncertainty rose in Qui-Gon. He could feel Obi-Wan gently sifting through his jumbled thoughts. There had been no hesitation to expose his mind to Obi-Wan because he sensed that it was the right thing to do. Not being able to read any kind of reaction was disquieting, but Qui-Gon refused the urge to raise his shields, not until Obi-Wan had finished. 

Obi-Wan didn’t linger, but respectfully withdrew and let out a small breath. His hands still lightly held onto Qui-Gon. 

His fingers tightened as Obi-Wan pulled himself up, slowly bringing his face close to Qui-Gon’s. They stared at each other one moment more. Obi-Wan looked at him questioningly while Qui-Gon didn’t dare to move. 

Then Obi-Wan bent his head and kissed Qui-Gon’s lips. 

It was soft and tentative, their lips barely brushing together. Then Obi-Wan kissed him again. It was still a short kiss, but this time it was also full and warm. Obi-Wan grew bolder, and one kiss became two. And then a third. Each one sweeter and fonder than the last. 

Qui-Gon cupped the back of Obi-Wan’s head and carefully kissed back. He wanted Obi-Wan to set the pace, but it was impossible to not respond to him. The feeling of shock and disbelief began to dim as Obi-Wan’s mouth moved against his. 

One of Obi-Wan’s hands found its way into Qui-Gon’s hair, and the achingly gentle kisses became hungrier. When Qui-Gon pressed him back down to the bed, Obi-Wan gasped as Qui-Gon’s cock shifted inside him. 

Qui-Gon deepened the kiss, now claiming Obi-Wan’s mouth as well as his lips. The little moans trapped in Obi-Wan’s throat made Qui-Gon’s cock twitch and he took one shallow thrust. 

Their kiss broke as Obi-Wan’s head fell back against the pillows, his pink mouth hanging open. Qui-Gon moved to pull out, but Obi-Wan wrapped his legs around Qui-Gon’s waist, locking his ankles behind him. 

Before Qui-Gon could speak, Obi-Wan nodded--silently communicating that he was alright--and tugged Qui-Gon into another kiss. When Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan tentatively roll his hips against him, he knew he was lost. 

Qui-Gon met Obi-Wan’s undulating hips with careful, slow thrusts until they fell into a steady rhythm. The little muffled noises from Obi-Wan were answered with a low grunt from Qui-Gon. 

They moved together with the slight awkwardness of new lovers discovering each other’s bodies for the first time, but the ineffable connection that showed when they battled side by side was also present here. Neither of them wanted to end the intimacy of their long and sensual kisses, but their hands explored.

Obi-Wan worked his fingers inside Qui-Gon’s tunic to map out his expansive chest while Qui-Gon slipped his free hand beneath Obi-Wan’s body to grab at one lusciously rounded ass cheek. 

An entire lifetime could have been given to them in those moments, but it still wouldn’t have seemed like enough time to savor each passionate touch. All too soon, their desperation grew. Obi-Wan became thoroughly overwhelmed by the new sensations sparking through his body, and Qui-Gon was helpless to not follow him. 

When it was all over, Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan’s lips one final kiss, then pulled back to see his exhausted apprentice’s eyes drift shut into sleep.

\---------

Qui-Gon watched Obi-Wan stiffly take his seat on their transport. Despite his efforts, Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan was sore and aching from their morning. But it wasn’t only physical discomfort that plagued him.

Ever since Obi-Wan woke, things had been stilted between them. Obi-Wan had avoided looking at Qui-Gon when he handed him a glass of water, and Qui-Gon had quickly excused himself from the room to allow Obi-Wan to dress. 

The priest had been shocked to see them both emerge from the house, but chose to say nothing as Qui-Gon glared and shouldered past him. They stayed silent on the way to the ship. 

On board, they both busied themselves with preparations for departure and contacting the Temple to update them on their delay. 

Now there was no avoiding each other’s presence as their pilot called for them to strap themselves in for liftoff. But they still did not speak. 

Questions and trepidations swirled through Qui-Gon’s mind. They both had to know that what they did today could never happen again, yet Qui-Gon let himself wonder how they might continue. Could they even try to hide a transgression like this? 

He could almost hear Mace telling him that he was beyond an idiot for even considering all but one option. The Council would never overlook something of this nature. And they would be justified to censor him, even remove him from the Order. But surely, they would not place blame on his padawan. 

Tension and worry radiated from Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon glanced at him and saw him try to hide a wince as the ship lurched. 

He wondered what thoughts raced through Obi-Wan’s head. Would he prefer to pretend that nothing happened? The Code was much more important to Obi-Wan than it was to him. And they hadn’t just broken it so much as obliterated it. 

And now Qui-Gon was considering running away with the fragments. 

He remembered the desire that mirrored his own back at the Zuantan temple. Even if he wanted to doubt or convince himself that he was only looking for what he hoped to be true, he knew could not. The strength of those emotions still echoed in the Force. 

That moment when their bond was laid bare, leaving them open and vulnerable to each other, was forever held in Qui-Gon’s memories. He had been allowed to touch the light that was uniquely Obi-Wan, connect with it, and feel the rightness as the Living Force surrounded them. 

A heaviness in Qui-Gon’s throat made it difficult to swallow. He blinked rapidly a few times and turned his attention back to Obi-Wan. His padawan was looking down at the folded hands in his lap, but Qui-Gon could see the alertness in the corner of his eyes. He was aware of Qui-Gon’s gaze and bracing himself for what would come next. He was afraid. 

Afraid of what Qui-Gon would say.

An hour before, Qui-Gon had planned for them to both meditate and then discuss continuing their lives as though nothing had happened. For the sake of Obi-Wan’s future if nothing else.

But now, he looked at the man across from him. The musculature that lay concealed beneath those robes was powerful, but the body still soft and welcoming. The curve of his throat leading up to his bowed head was captivating. His eyes may be averted now, but Qui-Gon knew their striking gaze well. They twinkled just so when Obi-Wan bantered with him, but they could turn to fearsome steel during a spar. And his lips, plumped and reddened from being kissed many times that day, lit a dangerous spark in Qui-Gon even now. 

Obi-Wan was beautiful and full of potential as a Jedi. Yet he wanted Qui-Gon for some unfathomable reason. The pureness and conviction of his feelings in the Force would not allow Qui-Gon to pretend otherwise. 

He stayed silent a few moments more. Qui-Gon knew what he should say, but it wasn’t at all what he actually wanted to say, so he hesitated. Once he spoke, everything would change. 

He reached out and covered both of Obi-Wan’s hands with one of his own. His chest tightened when wary but trusting eyes looked up at him. 

“Obi-Wan, we should talk.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Here is my [Tumblr](http://www.firondoiel.tumblr.com) if you would like to follow me. =)


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